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An alternative tube map with a Valentine’s theme has been released, and it’s full of puns that are so bad they’re actually… just really, really bad.
Alright, some of them are a bit clever. We wouldn’t have come up with Prenup-ton Park, and rebranding Angel to Cupid is a nice touch. But renaming Stanmore as Stand By Me, and Hackney Wick as Chick Flick? Eeeek. And we’re not even going to pretend we know which real-life station The Notebook (out east on the Central line) is supposed to be.
The map is the work of London-based design studio Lunes, and is peppered with the names of romantic films and books, real-life and fictional couples, and some rather saucier alternatives (hello, Bondage Street).
It’s a surprisingly roundabout route from Morning Glory to Knocked Up, but traditionalists will be pleased to know you’ll pass through the Whitechapel of Love on the way.
Some of them are thinkers… Turnpike and Tina Lane appears to reference the (reportedly abusive) relationship between Ike and Tina Turner, a strange choice of couple for a romance-themed effort.
Alas, not every station features — what happened to Liverpool Street, for example? One member of Team Londonist suggested Lover’s Pool Treat… but fear not, he’s been dealt with.
Amersham could do with being renamed Amour-sham (a name that works for both the loved-up and the lovelorn), and Lancaster Gate could be the location of many a Lancaster Date. And what about I Will Always Love You By Whitney Euston?
Yeah, yeah, we know, multiple liberties have been taken with the geography of the tube map too. What happened to the Hainault Loop, why does the Overground end at Shadwell, and what we refer to as the Marble Arch Kink on the Central line has been completely ironed out. Nothing kinky about that.
Reckon you can come up with some better love-themed puns, or fill in the gaps? Let us know in the comments, or tweet @Londonist.