Miliband’s brain to be transplanted into manly body

Confident around bacon

Confident around bacon

Party officials believe Miliband’s underwhelming physical presence has been the cause of his flagging popularity.

A Labour source said: “Ed has the right mind but his appearance is that of a teenage wallflower at a school disco, clutching a plastic cup full of Tango while everyone else snogs each other.

“With a hot alpha male appearance and easygoing body language he could win the next election and boost party coffers by doing lucrative underwear campaigns.”

Top male model Gandy volunteered for the body swap because he is tired of being hassled by really attractive women and just wants to spends his days in DVD and game exchange shops, quietly browsing the Buffy box sets.

Ed Miliband said: “Politics should not be a superficial popularity contest, but on the other hand I’m looking forward to eating food and talking to girls without fear of ridicule.

“All this stuff about me being a nerd is incredibly childish. Still, they won’t be laughing if I get a body like Steve Rogers.

That’s Captain America.”

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11 November 2014 | 11:24 am – Source: thedailymash.co.uk

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