Whether it’s discussing a difficult client over a post-work Peroni or relieving oneself in a bus-stop after a few too many Special Brews, we Brits love nothing more than a refreshing drink of beer!
But even though we regularly fork out £5 for a craft IPA at the latest microbrewery, sink a few tins before baby showers or court hearings, and shatter pint glasses over the temples of our adversaries, are we truly the most hop-centric binge drinkers on the planet?
I hope you’re currently sipping a strong premium lager in front of a re-run of the Booze Britain Newquay episode, because the results might make you question your fellow countryman’s commitment to intoxication.
According to a recent study by SABMiller, the UK isn’t number one in terms of beer consumption per head. In fact, we don’t even crack the top ten.
First place is reserved for the Czech Republic, with Belgium rounding off the front-runners. So with this in mind, let’s have a look at the nations which have put us to shame:
10. Belgium (81 litres per head)
Some would argue that the bureaucratic rigmarole practiced by tinpot pen-pushers in Brussels would drive anyone to drink. But not me. When even the monks are brewing beer, it’s little wonder that the country is guzzling it down. God is on their side.
9. Croatia (82 litres)
Croatia is one of the most popular holiday destinations in Europe. And if a Brit arrived in your country with a sunburn and no regard for local culture, you’d grab the nearest Ožujsko too.
8. Lithuania (89 litres) and 7. Romania (90 litres)
Both these countries tend to fly under the radar in terms of beer culture, but that’s probably because few Brits have gone there to drink their beer. Yet.
6. Ireland (93 litres)
When you think of Ireland, you think of Guinness. And when you think of Guinness, you’re setting yourself up for a full stomach, fewer beers, and a lower ranking on this chart. Leave it to the pros across the Irish Sea, kid.
5. Poland (100 litres) and 4. Estonia (104 litres)
Most know that these folks can drink with the best with them. Depending on who you ask, these folks can also improve or destroy the UK economy with the best of them, too.
3. Austria (108 litres) and 2. Germany (110 litres)
These countries obviously rank highly as they have no concept of a weights and measures act. Plus the more traditionally dressed ranks of their seasonal hospitality industry really pull in the punters.
1. Czech Republic (143 litres)
Pilsner Urquell, Budvar, Staropramen and endless stag-dos is a winning combination.
If you’re worried that these findings will trouble your sleep and affect your sex life, never fear. Remember, we more than make for our beer-based shortcomings in flaming sambucas, Jagermonsters and the cheapest vodka money can buy.