Voters do walk of shame

"All they left in the morning was this note"

“All they left within the morning was this notice”

At polling stations throughout the nation tens of millions threw warning to the wind to indulge of their base wishes within the privateness of a voting sales space.

Voter Wayne Hayes stated: “UKIP’s been courting me for months, flattering me about how kissably British I am and the good job they’d give me and the subsequent factor I know I’m filling all three of their packing containers. I really feel so soiled.

“He’s within the kitchen now, farting and shouting abuse at Radio A. I’ll slip out the toilet window earlier than he comes again upstairs and begins whispering to me about gypsies once more.

“I simply hope my Polish spouse Weronika can’t odor the fags and Theakston’s Bitter on me when I get residence.”

Polling station volunteer Margaret Hollis stated: “You might hear individuals whooping within the cubicles as they did horrible issues to their poll papers.

“One man got here out, leered at me and stated I wouldn’t consider what he’d simply carried out to my nation. This is a church corridor, the filthy beggar.”

Others used the election to fix damaged relationships, with many left-wingers ending disastrous flings with the Liberal Democrats to return to previous flames.

Labour supporter Nikki Hollis stated: “I ought to by no means have left my boring, vaguely dishonest social gathering for such a set of spineless creeps.

“Though I H:forty five am – Source: thedailymash.co.uk
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