What Google Suggest thinks of where you live: Norwich is inbred, Dundee is shite, Birmingham is a dump

Miley Cyrus called Birmingham the sluttiest place in the UK this week and now property website Rightmove has named east London the worst place to live in the country.

But who says they are any kind of authority on the subject? For that we must turn to Google – which has been providing all our true-fact research needs since 1998.

When we asked Google about places in the British Isles, its predictive search offered some enlightening results.

What Google thinks of where you live
Yeah, Derby’s crap. Google says so (Graphic: Steve Nimmo/metro.co.uk)


Hertfordshire is ‘posh’ while Inverness is just ‘shite’. Sorry Inverness, but can we really argue with Google?

Of course we can. Arguing is what the internet is all about. So has Google got a point?

True, Edinburgh IS colder than London but is Chester irritable? We’d have ask Chester to be sure – but first checking that it’s a good time to ask it, of course.

Whatever the truth, here’s what Google comes up with when you type ‘XX place is’ into its instant search bar:


Swansea is the graveyard of ambition. 

Swansea is a dump. Sorry Swansea (Picture: Google)
Wind your neck in, Google. That’s just mean


Inverness is shite. Fact. 

Inverness is shite. Fact
Inverness is shite. Fact


Dundee is shite too, apparently. Sorry Scotland.

Dundee shite too. Now it’s getting personal


Google thinks Hertfordshire is posh, not shite. Clearly Google has forgotten about Stevenage.

Hertfordshire is posh
Google thinks Hertfordshire is posh. Google is misguided


Belfast is happy, just like Harrogate. 



East London is a vampire? Random, Google. Really random. 

East London is a Vampire. Random
East London is a vampire. Whaaa?

Here’s the list in full:

London is funny

Aberdeen is racist

Liverpool is the best

Birmingham is a dump

Glasgow is a dump

Edinburgh is colder than London

Swansea is the death of ambition

Cardiff is boring

Manchester is my planet/Manchester is red

Inverness is shite

Dundee is shite

Durham is for oxbridge rejects

Carlisle is the opposite of bliss

Morpeth is on flood alert

Lancaster is ghetto

York is the best place to live

Chester is irritable

Sheffield is the greenest city in europe

Nottingham is full of fun

Derby is crap

Stafford is a man

Shrewsbury in soft light

Leicester is a dump

Norwich is inbred

Cambridge is better than oxford

Oxford is overrated

Northampton is a dump

Warwick is broken

Worcester is the paris of the 80s

Hereford is crap

Bristol is a paradise

Bath is black/leaking

Gloucester is rough

Aylesbury is it a nice place to live

Chelmsford is now a city

Taunton is a part of minehead already

Exeter is boring

St Austell near the beach

Winchester is camelot

Brighton is brilliant

Newport is the worst city in the uk

Dorchester is dangerous

Exeter is on sale

Banbury is running

Berwick is a good suburb

Stevenage is crap

Oban is worth visiting

Perth is a culture shock

Stirling is hockeyville

Antrim is my stepfather’s name

Derry is nicknamed the oak county

Dublin is expensive

Cork is happy

Kerry is an idiot

Galway is happy too

Mayo is gross

Tyrone is anthrax bad

Wexford (is) university accredited

Kent is the garden of england

Lancashire is wonderful

Somerset is the real killer

Portsmouth is this love/ an island

Bournemouth is better than ibiza

Poole is a beautiful place

Hartlepool is blooming/my passion

Hertfordshire is posh

East London is a vampire

Ilford is safe

MORE: Revealed: Top 10 happiest places to live in Britain

21 May 2014 | 12:02 pm – Source: metro.co.uk

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